Love Hurts

Anonymous

Tonight

I feel like writing a poem

but by a poem I mean

whatever it is that comes to this mind

I will not feel bad.

I will not feel sad.

If I am lucky, I will feel just enough to fill the void

that makes me spiral until I’m paranoid

Tonight

I feel like bowing my head, 

counting my Blessings,

and asking the real questions:

Were those thoughts placed

so that they could be erased?

Was I given a sign

or did I make it?

Tonight

I don’t live in regret.

but I do feel that I let

You down

I must admit

Not to You

or to her

but to myself:

I did feel. 

what I had felt

Now my heart churns

Now my brain will melt

As I wrestle with the fact

That though I did not act

I did in my heart.

And you have become

A sight for my sore eyes

as sore turns to teary

and as teary turns to weary

because

I’m exhausted:

mentally

physically

emotionally

Suffer the consequences

no longer

Grow.

to be stronger

Because who am I 

without a mind?

And without seeking

what will I find?

If I’m not looking

Then I can’t be found

Which means

I’m no one

Except I’m never not One

EveryOne is SomeOne

A child in a store 

without his ―

Lost

but not abandoned

I’m at peace.

I haven’t been stranded.

I will not give up.

I am not a façade.

I will pick myself up. 

And by the grace of God

I will love.

the Way he had intended

I knew how all along.

But had never extended

My hand

in an upward motion

Until my eyes

like the ocean

Raging and violent

Pour out and over

as my heart sinks lower

but my soul grows lighter

Forgiveness

is what I’ve been gifted

Few and far between

Now my tears ween.

Because I don’t feel bad.

Because I don’t feel sad.

Not any longer

Because now I’m stronger

I know.

And only wish

I could have

known before

If only

a heart

could

speak to say

Love hurts.

but only when

it’s taken

for granted