Shallow Waters

A poem by Sierra Mansfield

That day in the sun felt like a lifetime of happiness

My sunhat barely covered my squinting eyes

My mother held me in the shallow water

While my father watched from the grass

The chlorine from the pool irritated my nostrils

As the children splashed and swam freely

My mother looked at me with deep thoughts of

Love and admiration as she held me

This was the last good memory I

Have of my mother

I never knew what went wrong

Was it the fighting? The lies? The abuse?

Did she lose her way while trying to grow up herself?

Maybe it was all the crying I did that day

My yellow polka-dotted swimsuit

Did not fit like it used to

I was trying to grow up while

She was trying to stay alive

Maybe I became a burden

As the drugs became a necessity

My needs came second

While she closed the door behind her

I waited for my father to

Sit with us in the water

But he never showed,

Which became a common occurrence

That day, I wished I could grow up to be

Big enough for the diving board

Now, all I wish for is to go back to that day

To be a child again

In my yellow polka-dotted swimsuit

In shallow waters

And to be loved by my mother and father

One more time